“When you’re sitting at a light and you squeeze your butt cheeks tight…”

Well now that the 4th of July has passed and all those fireworks are done…you might have your own bathroom fireworks going off.

What do you mean Dice?

“When you’re flying on a plane and you get a tummy pain…”

Diarrhea, diarrhea.

“When you’re staying out of trouble and your pants begin to bubble…”

Diarrhea, diarrhea.

“When you’re sitting at a light and you squeeze your butt cheeks tight…”

Diarrhea, diarrhea.

Now I hope that little ditty get stuck in your head but what I don’t hope is you got  bubble guts guys. I mean you can chose from the plethora of word choices saying: Hershey Squirts, Sharts, Anti-Sticky butt, the Bubblies, Poop Smoothie, Butt Pee, Nuclear Anus, and Pure, concentrated evil is spewing forth when my brown star approaches supernova status.

It that time of year people and don’t you worry, I got some advice and help if you are suffering from evil intestinal ninja kicking inside your cut and flushing out your precious fluids.

Ok, first don’t get sick

TOO LATE!

Now if you are blowing off butt sparkles A LOT go to the damn hospital before you dehydrate yourself and get checked out, you might have a viral or bacterial infection.

Vomiting and diarrhea EXPEL (shoots out, gets out, leaves the body) water from your body, which leads to dehydration, which can lead to dizziness, passing out (we love to call it syncopal) and there could be lots of other medical reasons going on.

Ok, so your not on deaths door but your running to the bathroom like cartoon version of Tchaikovsky – 1812 Overture (Full with Cannons) and you just want to survive.

So here is the tried and true method… the B.R.A.T.Y. diet. Yes it the BRAT diet but it’s the 21st century so it new and improved!!!!!

                BRATY Diet  (A BRATY diet is used in the treatment of nausea, vomiting and diarrhea)

 

How do I start this diet?   The diet consists of the following:

  1. Only clear liquids for the first 24-48 hours. Start with small quantities of water first and slowly increase the volume of fluid intake
  2. Add weak decaffeinated tea with or without sugar or honey
  3. Add clear, flat non-caffeinated sodas such as 7-up, Sprite or ginger ale (bubbles can be stirred out with a spoon)
  4. Try apple juice diluted to ½ strength with water (no other juices)
  5. Jell-O
  6. Broth
  7. Gatorade diluted to ½ strength

 

What if I can tolerate the above?      As the diarrhea & nausea improves, the following may be added slowly:

      B – Bananas

R – White rice without butter, Cream of Wheat or rice cereal (no milk), noodles and potatoes (may be lightly

salted or seasoned with broth)

      A – Apples or applesauce (the pectin found in applesauce has a soothing effect on the gastrointestinal system)

      T – Toasted white bread with small amount of honey (no butter, jelly or jam) or soda crackers

Y– Yogurt is the product of bacteria consuming lactose in milk, and it is the lactose that causes irritation of an already upset stomach. Yogurt actually helps the upset stomach by reintroducing helpful bacteria into the digestive system.

 

Foods to avoid (Gastroenteritis is the inflammation of the digestive tract)

Avoid foods that may be irritating or could worsen the inflammation, such as:

  1. non-cultured dairy products i.e. milk, cheese and ice cream
  2. spicy foods
  3. greasy or fatty foods (cream soups, beef or pork products)
  4. alcohol (alcohol is in many products) or caffeine products
  5. foods containing roughage (whole grains, seeds and nuts, fruits with skins and raw vegetables)

 

Medications:

  1. Acetominophen 650 mg (Tylenol) can be taken every 4 hours to control fever, headaches and body aches.
  2. Aspirin (Goody’s and Excedrin are only a small sample of Aspirin Brands) and ibuprofen (Motrin) can cause stomach irritation and should be avoided.
  3. Bismuth subsalicylate to control the diarrhea (Bismol- 2 tablets four times per day- do not exceed 8 tablets in 24 hours just read the damn package!). Its PEPTO BISMOL in tablet form
    1. Possible side effects include black feces or tongue, nausea and constipation
    2. Do not take bismuth subsalicylate if you are taking aspirin, other subsalicylates, doxycycline, anticoagulants, probenecid or methotrexate.
    3. Antidiarrheal – The exact mechanism has not been determined. Bismol may exert its antidiarrheal action not only by stimulating absorption of fluid and electrolytes across the intestinal wall (anti-secretory action) but also, when hydrolyzed to salicylic acid, by inhibiting synthesis of a prostaglandin responsible for intestinal inflammation and hypermotility. In addition, bismuth subsalicylate binds toxins produced by Escherichia coli (the most common stomach pathogen)

 

When can I return to a normal diet?  When diarrhea, nausea, or vomiting has resolved for 24 hours on the BRATY diet then lean meats (chicken or turkey), fruits and vegetables should be tried gradually for one to two days more. At this point dairy products may be added one at a time in limited amounts. Continue drinking lots of clear fluids.

 

PLEASE PLEASE GO TO A HOPSITAL OR EMREGENCY CLINIC IF:

  1. persistent abdominal pain that is unrelieved by vomiting or passing a bowel movement
  2. a fever over 101°F that is not relieved with acetaminophen
  3. vomiting or diarrhea for more than 24 hours without improvement or more than 3 times an hour
  4. blood in vomit or stools or no urination in more than six hours

This is not THE answer it is A answer.

Which means don’t rely on the internet for cures or answer for medical condition. Goggle does not do lab works, or ECG, or Blood Pressure, it just filters stuff out and there is plenty of diarrhea on the internet.

I am just sharing the tried and true method of recovery but sometimes you need medicine, more than the pink pepto pill. You could need IV rehydration because you cant keep anything down (attic or basement wise) and you might need antibiotics to help you on the speedier road to recovery. Yes it sucks, I know, I am overseas and it that time of year where Bubble Guts is running rampant (literally and figuratively). So yes it sucks eating bland food as your stomach CTRL ALT DELETES itself into a reboot. But you know what is worse, eating something tasty that goes against what you KNOW you should be doing so you suffer longer.

Well that is todays little IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW now you KNOW!

 keep two wheels on the ground and the wet wipes close!

 

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